“Your shoes make me all kinds of happy.”
This is a statement that can be heard passing through my lips frequently. It’s the color of the runners these days that gets me every time. The best thing is they keep making the shoes brighter, more colorful and I KEEP GETTING HAPPIER!!
Color does not just refer to the shades, hues and tones of the things around us in our physical world. It also applies to the way we live our lives. Do we life in a perpetual state of dark and grey or do we let in those moments that bring a virtual rainbow into our hearts?
Somewhere along the way we seem to have lost sight of what it means to dance like fools, to take those moments to laugh to the point of snorts and tears and to be the amazing, beautiful and unique souls we are without worrying about what other people think of us.
I find it interesting looking back at when I was at my lowest emotionally. It seemed to correspond with being at my heaviest weight ever. I told myself I was okay and that the only reason why I was wearing dark clothes all the time was because they were slimming. That was one of the biggest lies I could tell myself. I was wearing the colors that reflected the abyss I was falling into inside. I was sad and felt devoid of self-love and joy.
About 13 years ago I caught a glimpse of the radiant future self I would become. I remember being in the car one stormy evening with my then husband and our two children. Feeling this overwhelming urge to just let all this pent-up energy in my body I requested that the car be pulled over and without even hesitating I pulled off my shoes, got out of the car and started to dance barefoot in the rain.
It felt so good to just let go and be in that moment. I spun like a child, threw my arms up in the air and felt the grass between my toes. I didn’t care if anyone was watching or what they would think of my actions. To this day I don’t know why the urge to do that was so overwhelming inside of me. I do know however that both kids in the years that followed expressed awe of what I did that night. To see an adult let go and feel unfiltered joy had impacted them.
Since that time 13 years ago I have taken all my hair off for Cancer Fundraising, shown up at boot camp in costumes, ran races with incredible friends in tutus, danced in Christmas lights and introduced color back into my wardrobe and more importantly my life.
I have worked hard to let go of my reservations around my body. I have chosen to believe that if anyone has an issue with the passion in which I lead life, it is not actually a problem with me but it’s about that person not being able to let go.
Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing I hope you’re finding moments to dance in the rain, to sing like a rock star, to dress in a tutu and to live your life in color.