Out of Whose League?

For the last couple of days I couldn’t figure out why I was having such a rough time writing this post.

Yes the painkillers are somewhat to blame because when they kick in I’m no more a wordsmith than a nuclear scientist. Then it dawned on me. I was having a struggle writing from the heart because this has been personal for me.

What makes a person look at someone who they are interested in, stare longingly at them from across the room and then think to themselves “I can never ask them for a date.” “They’re out of my league.” “I could never be what they’re looking for.”?

How is it that we have allowed the archaic concept of class in society creep into our love lives and dictate if we view someone as being above or below us?

What makes any one of us better than the person sitting next to us? More worthy of love, affection or desire?

Easy answer ~ nothing because all of us are deserving of the chance to find out if someone likes us. All of us are entitled to that breathless moment of anticipation while waiting for someone’s response when asked if they’ll go on date. Yet we stop, we pause, we measure ourselves against what we THINK they’ll want or expect out of a potential mate. We assume to know what their answer will be.

I did a little bit of research into this topic online and came across results like a book entitled “Dating Out of Your League ~ How to Date Up”. Excuse me? What positive self-image does this support? What felling of self-worth is fed and nourished by reading this?

Another entry I stumbled upon was written by presumably a young man who had been on one date with a woman who he was totally sure was out of his league because she was world traveled and well-educated. Everything that he wrote placed her on this pedestal and berated him entirely, essentially because he had not had the same opportunities provided to him in life. I instantly felt a pang in my heart for this fellow because he has likely already missed out on so many worthwhile connections and relationships assuming this about the women he came into contact with.

I will be honest. The statement that I couldn’t date someone because I wasn’t where he was in life has been uttered through my lips but no more.

I am just as interesting as someone whose passport is full of exotic ports of call. I am just as intelligent as a biological weapons specialist (maybe slightly safer). I am just as beautiful as the model who has walked the catwalk for fashion designers. I have a heart and it is a gift that will go to the person who can see all these things in me and vice versa.

Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing I hope you know that you are worth love, affection and desire. I hope (as long as it’s legal and there are no restraining orders currently in place) that you’re standing tall and asking that person in front of you to take a chance on you because you never know what answer you might get.

Love D.

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Photo Credit: Armando Tura

 

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