“I think one way to explain what’s wrong with my life is that I’ve lost my “flow”. I’ve created a mindset for myself where I simply go with the flow, everybody and anybodies over my own.”
These words (grammatically intact) were found scrawled on a torn up piece of paper on the dry dirt ground of a raceway in Alix, AB. There’s no name or identifying information other than the paper header which is from Elysia Resort in Quesnel Lake, BC.
There was nothing special about the paper. It was no different from the rest of the scattered bits on the ground but something made the friend I was with stop and pick it up. She later stated that she doesn’t often read something that she picks up from ground but something made her do it this time.
Those words on that piece of paper hit me like a ton of bricks. They were emotional, reflective, raw and deep and it was like that person was looking inside of me.
There have been so many occasions in my life where I felt like I was a salmon swimming, fighting, struggling against the current and instead of maintaining that drive to get through to the calm, peaceful waters I have given up and been swept away.
The writer of this note is not alone. I can’t count the number of times that I have changed directions in work, relationships or interests in order to align with what other people felt was best for me.
We all do it. We simply look at what those around us are doing and mimic their actions. We settle for a job, get comfortable in an unhealthy relationship, stay in a city or town or become stagnant in our lifestyles and health because it’s what is expected of us.
Just because you age you do not have to feel elderly, just because you are in a career does not mean you are not able to expand your horizons and go back to school. Relationships are meant to change together and apart and life is about spreading your wings and trying new places.
How do you find your flow? Push yourself out of your comfort zone, trust the voice you hear inside your head and heart and learn to recognize when you are living your life for the betterment of other people and not yourself. Learn new things constantly and develop new passions every second you can.
I am forever challenging my body, my mind and my limits. I am striving to set a good example for my son and show him that anything in life is possible if you work hard enough. I am taking the time to enjoy the people in my life and appreciating the blissful moments as they show up. This is my flow.
To the writer of those profound words on that tiny scrap of paper in a small Alberta town, thank you for helping me to see that I’m not alone either. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing I hope you’ve been able to find your flow.
Photo Credit: Colin Smith Photography ROTW 2015