Conversation Catalyst

There seems to be a misconception that if you’ve reached your goal be it in weight, relationship or any other life circumstance that the process somehow becomes easier, that the journey becomes less riddled with potholes or that the discussions within are no longer necessary.

I have not reached my goal weight yet in my journey but I can tell you that I am close and I have been for a while. However the hard work and questions I impose on myself will never end. I have encountered my fair share of potential perceived obstacles along the way and it has been that effort that has kept me on track.

As recently as yesterday I had to have a stern inner conversation with myself. There was a fair amount of discomfort and nausea throughout the day and I found it was easy at moments to become overwhelmed at the recovery process.

Negative thoughts started to creep into my head and heart. Why is this taking so long? Why do I feel so tired and useless? What if I can’t keep on track with the goals I’ve set for myself. The choice to get wrapped up in those moments of emotional darkness would have been an easy one. To lie down and simply feel sorry for myself would have taken little to no effort.

Instead I chose a path I have been down before. As most of you know it was a talk with a box of Timbits that served as my catalyst in the start of my journey. Sure, it sounds funny in retrospect and lends itself to a chuckle or two during an emotional roller coaster but that one pivotal moment was probably the single hardest and most life changing thing I have ever experienced.

For some reason, likely the amount of energy I’m putting out simply trying to heal, what I undertook with myself yesterday seemed equally daunting but I knew on a certain level that it was very, very necessary.

I asked the hard questions. If I did fall short of the goals I have currently set what would be the absolute worst thing that would happen? Would I die? Would I never be able to move forward. I almost laughed out loud at myself. Of course not. All I would do is look at those goals, adapt them and go for them again because that is what I do. I am determined to meet these challenges head on and will stop at nothing until I achieve them.

Am I useless? With certainty I shot that thought down and realized that although I can’t exercise the way I want right now and though I have to look at adapting my day-to-day activities there are so many things I can do to feel value and worth while at the same time respecting and allowing my body the time it needs to recover. Out comes the computer, out comes the task list I’ve been avoiding for months of putting pictures in order, organizing hard drive space and other items that fall by the wayside during my more physical pursuits.

In having that conversation with myself not only was I able to change the energy that I was feeling physically within I was able to alter my outlook of the process that lays before me. I almost instantly felt renewed, refocused and refreshed. Add to that a late night shower and herbal tea that left my physical body feeling much more comfortable and you have a recipe for a very positive morning.

Those self check-ins will never end for me. Sure they might change in scope, in length or in severity but I find they help me. They motivate, encourage and rejuvenate m all from within.

Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing I hope that you’re able to find your conversation catalyst. That you’re able to start having those moments with yourself that start you on your path or that keep you from straying along the way. Remember to be kind to yourself and check-in when you need to and you will reap the benefits.

Love D.


Photo Credit: Armando Tura