What motivates me?
In the last 11 days since my operation I have had plenty of time to think about this question. Times where I was struggling to sit up, where I was waking up in the middle of the night crying due to pain or where I was really questioning what I had signed up for by doing this.
There seems to be a misconception that if you’ve reached your goal be it in weight, relationship or any other life circumstance that the process somehow becomes easier, that the journey becomes less riddled with potholes or that the discussions within are no longer necessary.
For the last couple of days I couldn’t figure out why I was having such a rough time writing this post.
Yes the painkillers are somewhat to blame because when they kick in I’m no more a wordsmith than a nuclear scientist. Then it dawned on me. I was having a struggle writing from the heart because this has been personal for me.
I am going to grab one of my more lucid moments to check in with you all. It is now almost 56 hours post surgery. The pain is definitely more intense than I thought it would be and the inability to get around easily is frustrating at best.
The day is here. I’m unable to sleep right now. I’ve been trying but it seems that the butterflies in my stomach and the waves of nerves and excitement have different ideas.
Before I try to sleep again I wanted to put a few words out there into the cyber world as I know I might not be in any shape to do that for a day or so (I am stubborn that way so we’ll see). Continue reading Guns Blazing
I just had one of the most amazing and moving moments of my life and I really felt compelled to share it. I posted on Facebook a while back about a girl sitting on the sidewalk near my office. She was young and she so reminded me of myself. I had exchanged a glance with her and I wanted to do more, say more. I resolved myself in that moment that if I ever saw her again I would stop.
Never in a million years did I think the statement that I had started my day by running 5 k would leave my lips. I was wrong. That’s exactly what I did yesterday morning.
I don’t run fast but rather I pace myself at a nice even tempo. I will more than likely never win a race and that is a fact that I acknowledged and accepted a long time ago. I am okay with this.
A while ago I posted that there were big goals and personal challenges that I was working on setting for myself.
I’m going to divulge one of the biggest ones however I feel it to be in the best interest of anyone reading this blog to forewarn you that in this post I will be discussing things and posting pictures that might push the boundaries slightly.
In 2014 I saw 40 come and go in my rear view mirror and it barely caused a blip on the radar, let alone the tsunami of emotional grief I thought it would. In fact turning 40 did not bother me at all.
Lose weight and inches guaranteed while doing ‘other’ activities! Watch TV, knit, read, lounge by the pool and all the time be working up a sweat!!
*Cough* What? When did we become so disconnected as a society that we won’t even allow our minds to connect to our bodies to fully enjoy the exercise experience?